Earlier this year I blogged about how it’s ok to not be ok sometimes.
We’re so attuned to seeing inspirational people in the media, people always doing well, friends with knockout incredible instagram photos every. single. time…… that we begin to think maybe we’re the only ones out there who don’t have our shit together.
And it’s just not true.
Every one feels happiness.
Every one feels sad, alone, down.
We wouldn’t be able to appreciate these emotions if we couldn’t distinguish between the two – to know we are happy, we must know the contrast of sadness.
A few years ago, whenever R U OK day rolled round, I wanted to say “no, i’m not, i’m a mess” so badly. But I felt I’d be admitting to myself and others that I’ve failed somewhere, that I’m not who people think I am, that I’m a happiness fraud. That people would see me differently – that they would think “gee, she’s struggling”. And that’s not how I want people to see me.
So I stayed quiet. And kept my sadness and my stress inside.
Having a baby seemed to change all of that. I discovered that simply by picking up the phone and calling someone – anyone – they would do what they could to drop everything and be there. Sometimes just the conversation was enough, enough to know someone cared, and someone was willing to listen because they loved me. Sometimes they’d turn up on my doorstep.
I want my little girl to grow up watching her mum ask people for help.
I want her to see that it’s healthy and normal to ask others for support and to say that things are shit right now.
I want her to surround herself with people full of love, people who will be there for her when times are tough.
And now I’m tearing up just typing this! Eeergh.
R U OK day for me isn’t just about letting people know I’m here for them. And it’s not about speaking up that I’m not ok. I think we need a change in societal perspective that everyone isn’t ok sometimes – whether it’s for a few hours, a week, months or years. This is normal. And if we can talk about it and be open about it, we will share more love and support.
And that’s what today is about. Love.