1.the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.
Some people have it. Some people don’t. Some people yo-yo up and down, up and down. Every day I wake up, I wake up with the conscious focus of living with integrity each day. In every decision I make, in every interaction with another. I promise to always stay true to myself, to do what I believe is right. I made the decision to live this way when I decided to become a mum. I’m not just living this way for me, but also for my daughter. A girls’ first role model, her moral compass, who she looks to for strength, safety and “how to”, is her mother.
The funny thing is, I’m now more aware of my friends who live the same way, by the same principles and with the same integrity. I’m gravitating towards people who hold these values highly. It’s attractive.
It’s the kind of world and they are the kind of people I want my daughter to grow up around. To learn from. To listen to. To trust. To love. These are the people constantly learning about themselves. The people with humility, grace and a really nice comfortableness in their own skin. These people aren’t afraid to make mistakes. They don’t need to know all the answers. They take risks. They explore their thoughts and feelings. They push their bodies. Instead of judging others, they encourage and support. They’re communicators. They’re lifetime friends.
One thing I’ve learnt though my journey of pregnancy and the first year of motherhood, is the importance of having the right tribe. Being a first time mum and a solo parent can be one of the most isolating experiences if I choose to let it be. Instead, I’ve attracted some of the most wonderful people to my tribe, my little family of love. Some of these people are old friends or family. Some are new acquaintances that I’ve instantly felt a connection with. And through this process of tribe-building, I’ve also cleansed. To say that I’ve lost friendships wouldn’t be true; to use “lost” implies a negative, something missed or something gone wrong along the way. Instead, space has been created. Space for more love, more laughter and more hugs. More support, more encouragement, more integrity. The people who have left my life have created space for more love. Love they either couldn’t or wouldn’t give. And that’s ok. Because more love is in this space. And it feels great. And my daughter feels the love too.
Whether your a single parent, a parent, a student, in a relationship – whatever your life looks like right now – take a good look at your tribe. You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. The people in your life that you put energy into – do they give you energy, positivity and love back? Do they feed your soul or leave you hungry? Anyone who doesn’t, who wouldn’t – they’re taking from you. And nobody has time for takers. So get cleansing. It’s a bristly old brush and you’ll cry, but what you’re left with when you’re done is so worth it.
People who love you.